benjamin franklin on marriagebenjamin franklin on marriage

And in turn, Benjamin wouldn't be liable for the debts of Rogers as Deborah's common-law "husband." . I wonder if he spelled them right for 1748 or if he was like my Mom and daughter! Whether he blamed Deborah, or blamed himself for listening to her, the hard feelings relating to the death of their beloved sonthe DELIGHT of all that knew him, according to the epitaph on his gravestoneappear to have ravaged their relationship. A few months later she pressed him: I hope you will not stay longer than this fall.. Thankfully we have come a long way in our thinking since the time Benjamin Franklin wrote that letter 268 years ago! In May 1771, on a kinder note, he wrote: I am much pleased with the little Histories you give me of your fine Boy.I hope he will be spared, and continue the same Pleasure and Comfort to you, and that I shall ere long partake with you in it., Over time, Benjamin, too, came to regard the grandson he had yet to lay eyes on as a kind of reincarnation of his dead son. But a few weeks later, the stranger became a boarder in the Read home. . History seems to show that he was a success in almost every endeavor he entered into almost. Stephen Coss is the author of the book The Fever of 1721: The Epidemic that Revolutionized Medicine and American Politics. - Benjamin Franklin | One Day Quotes. William Franklin was born Feb. 22, 1762, followed by the birth of Francis on Oct. 20, 1732 and . . But as her health declined, she gave up her vow not to give him one moments trouble. When will it be in your power to come home? she asked in August 1770. God made it this way, in his words he said woman is not without the man or man with out the woman. By 1736, Franklin had entered the most fulfilling period of his life so far. Was it an attempt to lift Deborah out of debilitating grief? They had a son, Francis, who died four years later from smallpox, and a . ..the Benjamin Schenck Mansion is supposedly one of the most haunted places in all of Indiana. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement. the state in which you will find solid happiness. (Posthumous painting. For the better part of a decade he lived with the Sioux tribe before returning to society. Omissions? Happiness is produced not so much by great pieces of good fortune that seldom happen, as by little advantages that occur every day. Every day we present the best quotes! For one so young to assume the persona of a middle-aged woman was a remarkable feat, and Franklin took exquisite Pleasure in the fact that his brother and others became convinced that only a learned and ingenious wit could have written these essays. Poor Richard's Almanack, p.41, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc. "The Completed Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin". Leonard W. Labaree. In public, Franklin himself took the blame for not inoculating Franky. He chronicles Franklin's tumultuous relationship with his illegitimate son and grandson, his practical marriage, and his flirtations with the ladies of Paris. Josiah Franklin was born at Ecton, Northamptonshire, England, on December 23, 1657, the son of Thomas Franklin, a blacksmith and farmer, and his wife, Jane White. You can bear your own faults, and why not a fault in your wife? Just weeks into Deborahs marriage, word reached Philadelphia that Rogers had another wife in England. Benjamin loved the child and his new role as a dad, but that did not mean he opened up to be more of a loving husband to Deborah. Franklin apparently proposed marriage, but she declined in deference to her deceased husband. We are like the pink rabbit with the batteries, but men, well do I need to say more? Franklin and Madame Helvetius were both in advanced age, and it would be highly unlikely that she could have produced children even if they sustained an intimate relationship. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy. It involves their only son, a lethal disease and a disagreement over inoculation. In this essay, Franklin took on the role of "Father Abraham" and dispensed knowledge to his readers by quoting heavily from that wise old sage, "Poor Richard." Franklin's adages in The Way to Wealth teach us that success is just the consistent application of hard work and thrift. the state in which you will find solid happiness. LOL, Well, if I really told you what I thought you would have to ban my comment! Franklin agreed to take in the child as his own. Whether the letter in question truly qualified as his first is unknown, since it has been lost. Moist Banana Bread Recipe The Best Banana Bread Ever, 14 Reasons That You Should Read This Post, Wearing A Mask In The Midst Of PTSD Ignorance, in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones, Because as they have more Knowledge of the World, frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice. He came to be regarded as the greatest promoter of smallpox inoculation in the British colonies. It depends chiefly on two words, industry and frugality: that is, waste neither time nor money, but make the best use of both. Marriage is the most natural state of man, and therefore the state in which one is most likely to find solid happiness. Cookie Policy Benjamin Franklin is the founding father who winks at us - an ambitious urban entrepreneur who rose up the social ladder, from leather-aproned shopkeeper to dining with kings. Did it render the boy too sick to be inoculated? However, lets face it, there are a lot of older women who never evolve and remain stuck in their own fears. Essential Writers, Artists, and Scientists, History of Scientists, Inventors, and Inventions Quiz, https://www.britannica.com/biography/Benjamin-Franklin, Social Studies for Kids - Biography of Benjamin Franklin, UShistory.org - The Electric Ben Franklin, Philanthropy Roundtable - Benjamin Franklin, Strange Science - Biography of Benjamin Franklin, Benjamin Franklin - Children's Encyclopedia (Ages 8-11), Benjamin Franklin - Student Encyclopedia (Ages 11 and up). He wrote that Franklin fully intended to inoculate the boy, but that Frankys sickness dragged on and smallpox took him before his recovery. Indeed, Lemay went even further in providing cover for Franklin, describing Franky as a sickly infant and a sickly child. This, too, has become accepted wisdom. . Benjamin Franklin, Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress (1745) June 25, 1745 My Dear Friend, I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. A year later he bought the towns second newspaper operation, renamed and reworked it, and began making a success of the Pennsylvania Gazette. In London Franklin quickly found employment in his trade and was able to lend money to Ralph, who was trying to establish himself as a writer. After insisting that he was leaving home more cheerfully for his confidence in Deborahs ability to manage his affairs and Sarahs education, he added: And yet I cannot forbear once more recommending her to you with a Fathers tenderest Concern.. I agree with him that marriage adds to each of us and makes us whole. He also became more empatheticits hard to imagine he would have written an essay like On the Death of Infants, which was inspired by the death of an acquaintances child, had he not been enraptured by his own son and fearful lest a similar fate should befall him. In 1736 Francis, who was 4 years old, died from small pox. It was a small matter, but Benjamin was incensed. Biographers and historians tend to shy away from his married life, perhaps because it defies idealization. Even the oldest recorded joke in human history is a fart joke. Reflections on Courtship and Marriage: in Two Letters to a Friend. The National Historical Publications and He had never been much interested in children, but after the birth of Francis Folger Franklin, on October 20, 1732, he wrote that they were the most delightful Cares in the World. The boy, whom he and Deborah nicknamed Franky, gave rise to a more ebullient version of Franklin than he had allowed the world to see. Husband of Deborah (Read) Franklin married 1 Sep 1730 [location unknown] Descendants Father of William Franklin , Francis Folger Franklin and Sarah (Franklin) Bache Died 17 Apr 1790 at age 84 in Philadelphia County, Pennsylvania, United States of America 1731-1813. Smithsonian magazine participates in affiliate link advertising programs. My mother = The Energizer Bunny. This time Franklin would be gone for ten years, teasing his imminent return almost every spring or summer and then canceling at nearly the last minute and without explanation. Both provide an interesting view of life in the 1700s, particularly the use of the English language. It appears that Deborah, tired of arguing with her husband over the need to baptize their son, had it done while he was out of town. Benjamin and Deborah Franklin spent all but two of their final 17 years apart. (Who that woman was and why he couldnt or wouldnt marry her remain mysteries to this day.) In a January 1772 letter to his sister Jane, he shared the emotions the boy stirred in himemotions he had hidden from his wife. He ignored her appeals until July 1771, when he wrote her: I purpose it [his return] firmly after one Winter more here. The following summer he canceled again. Benjamin Franklin (1819). Francis Folger Franklin, Ben's son. No desirable young woman with a dowry would want to marry a man with a bastard infant son. In the winter of 1731, a smallpox epidemic befell Philadelphia. He was appointed the first postmaster of Philadelphia and was heavily involved in social and political affairs that would eventually lead to the establishment of the United States. When eighteen-year-old Benjamin Franklin ran away to Philadelphia, he boarded with the Read family and began his printing apprenticeship. How Many People Signed the U.S. Constitution? Year after year Deborah stoically endured the snubbing, even after she had a stroke in early spring 1769. Benjamin's son William Franklin was most likely born around 1730 out of an illegitimate relationship that later became a common-law marriage. The boy that seemed so mature because he was very distant during courtship may continue to be distant after marriage as well; if a wife is then looking for a closer and warmer relationship, she will spend the rest of her married life feeling cheated of that closeness. Deborah assisted in the business by folding and stitching pamphlets, tending shop, purchasing old linen rags for paper makers. LOL I hope you have a great day! she reminded me of a bit of Scottish verse I learned years ago (to be said in a broad Scots burr): Ahhhh, fer those days I weel remember, If originally she had believed Franky would bring her closer to Benjamin, now she just hoped the boy would help her keep hold of him. Without industry and frugality nothing will do, and with them everything. Two weeks after that report, the Gazette reprinted a detailed description of the procedure from the authoritative Chamberss Cyclopaedia. Ha, ha..I think lots of older women are not so good in this day & age..bah humbug to waiting on a man & confounding ones self to be pleasing to him.. Destructive 'Super Pigs' From Canada Threaten the Northern U.S. Did an Ancient Magnetic Field Reversal Cause Chaos for Life on Earth 42,000 Years Ago? In April and July he assured her he would sail shortly. 171-3. The addressee is unknown; and the letter may in fact be an essay in the form of a letter. I certainly agree with you about misused or misspelled words. by Benjamin Franklin, Carl Japikse. . Because the Compunction is less. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman. Let us know if you have suggestions to improve this article (requires login). Occasionally, however, they developed full-blown smallpox or other complications and died. Wherein a Practicable Plan is laid down for Obtaining and Securing Conjugal Felicity. In 1721 James Franklin founded a weekly newspaper, the New-England Courant, to which readers were invited to contribute. "Fart Proudly" is just another great example of that tradition, that universal reference point that we all share. If one parent or near relation is against it, he noted in 1759, the other does not chuse to inoculate a child without free consent of all parties, lest in case of a disastrous event, perpetual blame should follow. He raised that dilemma again in 1788. Benjamin had a common-law marriage with Deborah Read, until her death. "A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." -Andre Maurois "Marriage is the most natural state of man and the state in which you will find solid happiness." -Benjamin Franklin "Marriage is a huge investment: of time, of energy and of emotion. My brain is forever warped! He was buried beside Deborah at Christ Church Cemetery in Philadelphia. Those days from the present differ! Soon she took in the infant son her new husband had fathered with another woman and began running a small stationery store on the first floor. Deborah was a skilled bookkeeper to whom Ben . As for the letter, it seems to me he had a lot of experience to be able to go on with so much knowledge. Franklin was born the 10th son of the 17 children of a man who made soap and candles, one of the lowliest of the artisan crafts. They could set up house on Market Street as a common-law marriage. Benjamin Franklin NICK NAMES Ben BIRTHDAY January 17, 1706 BORN ON DAY Sunday BIRTHPLACE Boston, Massachusetts Bay, British America. Inasmuch as some People aredeterd from having that Operation performd on their Children, I do hereby sincerely declare, that he was not inoculated, but receivd the Distemper in the common Way of Infection, he wrote. He would later admit that by degrees he forgot my engagements with Miss Read. In declaring this a great Erratum of his life, he took responsibility for Deborahs ill-fated marriage to a potter named John Rogers. The way to wealth is as plain as the way to market. But the facts are more complicated. Created by Meks. Method and Success of Inoculating the Small-Pox in New England, 1722. Franky was still Deborahs only child (the Franklins daughter, Sarah, would not be born for seven more years) and the legitimizing force in her common-law marriage. I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Deborah Read, who he had courted before going to England, had married Roger Potter during his absence. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. 1744 . Perhaps out of compassion, few of Franklins contemporaries questioned his explanation for not inoculating Franky or asked why he had gone so quiet on the procedure in the months before his son died. Despite what late night infomercials claim, the . At some point she was told that Rogers had died in the West Indies, but proving his deathwhich would have freed Deborah to remarry formallywas impractically expensive and a long shot besides. There he made a shallow incision in the patients arm and deposited material from the vial. He had been one of the few white men in Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket, Massachusetts (as a successor of Thomas Mayhew), and was a teacher and translator for the Wampanoag Indians. Either intentionally or accidentally, as a side effect of her stroke, she sometimes confused the two, referring to Franklins grandson as your son and our child.. THANK GOODNESS!!!!! Marriage and Children Deborah Read and Benjamin Franklin entered a common law agreement on September 1, 1730. And yet she remained legally married to him; a woman could self-divorce, as Deborah had done in returning to her mothers home, but she could not remarry with church sanction. Franklin never said his son was sick, but that he had not recovered sufficient Strength. Its possible that Franky had been ill, but was no longer showing symptoms of dysentery. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. For the last 10 years of their 44-year marriage Read stayed in Philadelphia while Franklin spent all his time in Europe. Did he envy it? Now you may argue with God but not me. By the time the Philadelphia epidemic ended that July, 288 people were dead, but that total included only one of the approximately 50 people who had been inoculated. In 1721 Cotton Matherthe man who had stumbled upon the idea of inoculation and then pushed it on the doctors of Boston, declaring it infalliblehad stalled for two weeks before approving his teenage sons inoculation, knowing all the while that Sammy Mathers Harvard roommate was sick with smallpox. In the Autobiography he wrote that he should have beenashamd at seeing Miss Read, had not her Friendspersuaded her to marry another. If he wasnt ashamed, what was he? An outbreak in the city that year led to the first widespread inoculation trial in Western medicineand bitter controversy. And we can imagine that for Deborah it was even worse. I also find his writings a bit humorous. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. And when, in February 1731, Philadelphians began coming down with smallpox, Franklins backing became even more urgent. That February Franklin, newly arrived in London, had predicted that he would be home in a few Months. But now he had been gone for 11, with no word on when he would come back. His first enthusiasm was for poetry, but, discouraged with the quality of his own, he gave it up. But he had survived, and at age 30 was, as his biographer J.A. Franklin was a great manscientist, publisher, political theorist, diplomat. Paraphrasing her husband, she wrote: A Quier of paper that my careless wife forgot to set down and now the careless thing dont know the prices so I must trust you., Benjamin also conspicuously overlooked, or even denigrated, Deborahs fitness as a mother. Benjamin accepted the form and function of married lifeeven writing about it (skeptically) in his newspaperbut kept his wife at arms length. The Gazette of April 17, 1746, announced this pamphlet as Just Published. Charles R. Hildeburn assigned it to Franklin on the authority of a note, which he quoted as By Benjamin Franklin. Benjamin's mother was Abiah Folger, the second wife of Josiah. One of the foremost of the Founding Fathers, Franklin helped draft the Declaration of Independence and was one of its signers, represented the United States in France during the American Revolution, and was a delegate to the Constitutional Convention. While every effort has been made to follow citation style rules, there may be some discrepancies. Deborahs shocked indignation is apparent in the entry she subsequently made in the shop book, in the place where she should have entered the details about the paper stock. The parents declined to pay and the relationship was terminated as well as his friendship with Thomas Godfrey. How I long to see you, she wrote to him in 1770, after 40 years of marriage and five years into his second trip to London. Franklin exchanged some promises about marriage with Deborah Read and, with a young friend, James Ralph, as his companion, sailed for London in November 1724, just over a year after arriving in Philadelphia. He even turned them into poetry and then back into prose. Sherry Riter a.k.a. In all, Josiah would father 17 children. The writings in Fart Proudly reveal the rogue who lived peaceably within the philosopher and statesman. Thus, as Franklin later wrote, the former couples mutual Affection was revived, and they were joined in a common-law marriage on September 1, 1730. Benjamin Franklin Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. In an age that privileged the firstborn son, Franklin was, as he tartly noted in his Autobiography, the youngest Son of the youngest Son for five Generations back. He learned to read very early and had one year in grammar school and another under a private teacher, but his formal education ended at age 10. The inoculation issue was over, but Franklin let his anger boil over in other ways, and this is one example. A Century of Printing: The Issues of the Press of Pennsylvania, https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Franklin/01-03-02-0030, National Historical Publications and His mastery of the printers trade, of which he was proud to the end of his life, was achieved between 1718 and 1723. Benjamin Franklin Love, Marriage, Order Benjamin Franklin, Walter Isaacson (2003). And as far as an older woman being grateful that a man might take an interest in her, I think it is just the opposite. . Benjamin must have suspected that when Sarah Read, Deborahs widowed mother, learned that he had neither a press nor guaranteed work, she would seek another suitor for her daughter. Paul L. Ford believed it was addressed to William Franklin; but William was only a lad of 14 or 15 in 1745. Notes: 1974-1975 TV miniseries "The Lives of Benjamin Franklin" Events. He considered becoming an itinerant teacher of swimming, but, when Thomas Denham, a Quaker merchant, offered him a clerkship in his store in Philadelphia with a prospect of fat commissions in the West Indian trade, he decided to return home. As to Frankys general health, the best evidence is in Franklins 1733 piece in the Gazette celebrating a scolding wife. Marriage: 1 September 1730. Protect and keep contributing to your investment." -Karen Gordon 2. This I mention for the sake of the parents who omit that operation, on the supposition that they should never forgive themselves if a child died under it; my example showing that the regret may be the same either way, and that, therefore, the safer should be chosen.. In a sense, though, this was Franklins portrait, too: With no likeness of Franky to work from, the artist had Benjamin sit for it. Then he had his own romantic calamity: He learned that a young woman of his acquaintance was pregnant with his child. Returned to Philadelphia, the painting took on a nearly magical significance a decade later, when family members noticed an uncanny resemblance between Sarah Franklins 1-year-old son, Benjamin Franklin Bache, and the Franky of the portrait. His father thought him too young for such a venture, so Keith offered to foot the bill himself and arranged Franklins passage to England so that he could choose his type and make connections with London stationers and booksellers. A Note to our Readers your mother is so funny even if I disagree with some of her statements. Such women, he wrote, have sound and healthy Constitutions, produce vigorous Offspring, are active in the Business of the Family, special good Housewives, and very Careful of their Husbands Interest. Its unlikely that he would have included produce vigorous Offspring if his son, then 9 months old, had been sickly. He also . Franklin, Benjamin Date 17 April 1746 Reference Cite as " [Reflections on Courtship and Marriage, 17 April 1746]," Founders Online, National Archives, https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Franklin/01-03-02-0030. Franklin realized, as all the Founders did, that writing competently was such a rare talent in the 18th century that anyone who could do it well immediately attracted attention. The argument that Franky was sickly is based primarily on one fact: Nearly a year passed between his birth and his baptism. He had planned to use the dowry to pay the remaining debt for the printing house which added to 100 pounds. Survivors were often blind, physically or mentally disabled and horribly disfigured. Franklin said as much many years later. He was General Crook's lead scout at the Battle of the Rosebud participated in the Slim . He was right that the older a woman gets the more wisdom and compassion she has acquired merely by the fact that she has lived and experienced more of life than a younger woman has. Fifteen-year-old Deborah, standing at the door of her familys house on Market Street, laughed at the awkward ridiculous Appearance of the bedraggled 17-year-old stranger trudging down the street with a loaf of bread under each arm and his pockets bulging with socks and shirts. A few weeks later he was rooming at the Reads and employed as a printer. -Joseph Campbell Resolve to perform what you ought. 1731-1775. The grateful part, Im not so sure! But he was married for 44 years. 2023 Smithsonian Magazine Franklin had ten siblings and seven step-siblings. Soft is good in most things, but not that. Noooo! For more on the Daylight Saving debate, visit ProCon.org. Mulligan: Franklin, of course, never sent "Fart . And I must say I agree with him for much of it. William Franklin. 6) If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun. Benjamin Franklin was the George Clooney of his day. , I first read this letter decades ago, when I was still a young man, & found it delightfully funny but with more than a few kernels of wisdom now, when some might consider me to be the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars, I cant completely agree with Franklin in regard to marriage making one compleat, but much of the advice in the letter makes sense certainly from the point of view of a cultured 18th century man & every re-reading makes me laugh at Franklins very modern sense of humor! Families were not quick to give dowries to men with an illegitimate child, but Deborah Read's family was. Your email address will not be published. Did I say a? Poor Richard's Almanack, p.39, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc. Benjamin Franklin (2013). Deborah Read, who he had courted before going to England, had married Roger Potter during his absence. Older women rock. Stranded, he wrote Deborah a single letter, saying he would be away indefinitely. At 12 he was apprenticed to his brother James, a printer. Theoretically, the customer could claim to have purchased a lesser grade and underpay what he owed. But as in that earlier case, his public chivalry probably disguised his private beliefs. Silence Dogood. He found her a good and faithful helpmate. You can not pluck roses without fear of thorns, Nor enjoy a fair wife without danger of horns. "Founding Father," "Inventor," and "diplomat" are all terms usually applied to Benjamin Franklin. Now a me limbs are soft an tender. Benjamin Franklin is known as one of the country's most influential figures. Benjamin loved the child and his new role as a dad, but that did not mean he opened up to be more of a loving husband to Deborah. So what should we make of Benjamin Franklin? A Benjamin Franklin Reader, p.53, Simon and Schuster, There is a mistake in the text of this quote, Occupation: Founding Father of the United States. That didn't end well, as Potter absconded to the West Indies to escape paying some debts. By the late 1750s, Benjamin Franklin had established himself as a successful printer, publisher, and writer. It must be of Use to your Health, the having such an Amusement. At times he seemed impatient with Deborah: I am glad your little Grandson recovered so soon of his Illness, as I see you are quite in Love with him, and your Happiness wrapt up in his; since your whole long Letter is made up of the History of his pretty Actions. Did he resent the way she had anointed Benny the new Franky? The Redhead Riter is Witty, Intelligent & Addictive. DIED AT AGE 84 Years 3 Months 0 Days DEATHDATE April 17, 1790 DEATHPLACE Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America CAUSE OF DEATH Pleurisy NATIONALITY American PROFESSION Politician ( American Politician) The Franklins had eight grandchildren: Benjamin, William, Betsy, Louis, Deborah, Richard, Sarah and William Temple (son of Benjamin's illegitimate son William). Im sure it has nothing to do with my mother or daughter. lol. (Franklin immortalized his wifes fiery personality in various fictional counterparts, including Bridget Saunders, wife of Poor Richard. Note: The annotations to this document, and any other Benjamin Franklin Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning. I have been so happy as to receive several of your dear letters within these few days, she began, adding that she had read one letter over and over. I call it a husbands Love letter, she wrote, thrilled as though it were her first experience with anything of the kind. Through its grants program, the NHPRC supports a wide range of activities to From ancient Sumeria, it's 4,000 years old, and it was found on a cuneiform tablet, and it's a fart joke!

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